patrick_townson ([info]patrick_townson) wrote,
@ 2006-09-16 23:55:00
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Teenager Says, "I Hate Being Gay"
From the Advocate newspaper, a young reader speaks out about the gay lifestyle ... I hate being gay
This Washington State teen faces a daily battle between the sexual attraction he feels for other men and his religious convictions that tell him being gay is against God’s word.

By Kyle Rice

In late July the Washington State supreme court upheld a law that limits marriage to heterosexual couples. As a gay 19-year-old in Longview, Wash., my delight with that ruling is probably surprising. However, I’m not your average gay person—I'm also a Christian who views living a gay lifestyle as against God's word.
And because of my religious beliefs, I hate the fact that I am gay.

About the time I was 12 years old, it became clear to me that I was sexually attracted to guys. I assumed these feelings would go away as I got older. People choose to be gay, right? I didn’t choose this, so I figured it would pass. But it didn’t. By age 15 I had my first boyfriend.

At about that time I started to attend a Pentecostal church. I began reading the Bible, including its many different and powerful passages condemning homosexual activity. I knew in my heart that being gay was wrong in God’s eyes. I decided to devote myself to living a God-filled life and knew I needed to stop being gay so that I could stop being attracted to guys.

I looked into "ex-gay" ministries and joined such a program offered by a local church. It has taught me that with God’s help I can change my desires. A friend of mine went through another church’s program, and he's changed. He’s now happy and in love with his girlfriend. I pray the same will happen to me someday.

In the meantime I focus on fighting efforts to force the "gay agenda" on those of us who know God does not accept homosexuality. Although I do not condone discrimination, I also do not support gay marriage laws or many of the other issues backed by gay rights groups. I am a proud conservative Republican, and I support political candidates who feel the same way I do.

Many people ask me how I can be gay and also be a Republican and a Pentecostal Christian. My answer is that I am so much more than my sexuality. I don’t vote solely on pet gay issues. My faith and love of God is not guided by one small piece of who I am—a piece of me that I am trying very hard to change.

Being a gay Christian is at times very hard to deal with. Some days I feel as if I’m at war with myself. But I know God would not approve of me acting on my gay feelings, and I have no right to question his directive. I know that in the end I will be happy I lived my life according to God’s standards the best that I could.

That means refusing to accept being gay.



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Hmmmm
(Anonymous)
2006-09-26 05:29 am UTC (link)
Well, let me inform you that I am a gay 20 year old man living in Minnesota. I grew up here my whole life and didn't come out until I was 18. Since then, I have lead a very wonderful life and am committed in a relationship with the love of my life. I was raised in a Baptist home where homosexuality is frowned upon. But, in reading the Bible, I discovered that many versus contradict others throughout the entire book. For instance, John 3:16 says that "For God so loved the world that He gave his only begotten son that WHOSOEVER believeth in Him should have everlasting life." Now, another part of the Bible in Leviticus says that homosexuality is an abomination and that no one who is homosexual can enter the kingdom of God. Hmmmm.....there are so many problems with the Bible I can't begin to cover them all, but in response to your letter to the Advocate, I think I've covered the essentials. Being gay is something that you cannot change. I know because I've tried many times and have failed miserably each and every time. You are never going to not be gay. If you are gay, you are gay whether you choose to act on it or not. Even if we are all wrong and homosexuality is truly a sin, then why does every gay man, and gay woman, NOT choose to be gay. A sin is defined as something you choose to do. I didn't choose, and neither did any other Gay person to be gay. It's just the way it happened. Deal with it and live your life with the intentions to be happy. In the end, if you truly believe in God, Jesus died on the cross for all our sins. So, even if we are wrong, which I firmlly believe we are not (concerning the gay community), we are all forgiven so I say....enjoy life the way we are and embrace who we are. Stop trying to fill in the gay void in your life with church which is only going to hurt you in the long run. Good luck man...you're going to need it.

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(Anonymous)
2007-10-22 01:47 pm UTC (link)
I feel your pain, I can only hope and pray god will remove this gayness from me!

Is being gay born in our nature or a learned trait. I do not remeber being gay until i was molested as an older child, i was molested by an uncle.

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[info]aluminum_penis
2008-05-11 08:40 am UTC (link)
I have the very same problem. I try so hard to change but I just cant! maybe if i just quit having any sexual conact with ANYONE [male or female] does that still make me gay? will it still send me to hell?

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